Tonight is just another weary evening, and I’m not sure why I urge to poke the sleeping mutt—but we must invest in some entertainment somewhere, eh?
I intend to ask you a question, friends, in this particular blog. If vampires and dragons and all these mystical lands—even those unrealistic scenes of Hollywood and Bollywood, if they were real…would you really want to indulge in such a life?
Would you be willing to take the risk to make your life so completely miserable for the sake of the chase? For a dream-slash-nightmare come true? For the excitement of a thriller?
I’m not so sure I’m capable of speaking for you, but I find my life rather dull—no, not rather—extremely dull. I feel constantly bored, and plan to do things that I believe will give me some amusement, but then I turn my cheek away when I realize it will never live up to my expectations, and even so, isn’t worth my time anyways. I just sit around all day, thinking of all these possibilities that might give some meaning, or at least some sort of enjoyment…only to realize I wasted my time planning in the first place.
I can now stop myself mid-plan and say, “What’s the use of planning when you know you won’t be satisfied with the result, so you’ll dump the plan, thus wasting all of that time planning? Quit while you’re stuck where you already are.”
But in return of the question…if there really were this world reserved for a select few humans, a world of mystical magic, heroes, forbidden romance—would you really risk the boring safety you’ve already acquired? Would you throw that all away and risk death and all those things worse, for the sake of a little personal adventure?
If you’d like to hear my thoughts, which I’m oh-so-sure you do [it IS, after all, MY blog]…I don’t know. I’m bored out of my wits at times, but I like being free from unimaginable danger…sometimes my unmemorable nightmares are realistic enough. I’m rather glad I don’t have to worry about bloodsuckers and wolves breathing down my back, or pissing off the wrong one. Maybe if you knew in the end, it was the most favorable life you could have had, maybe then you’d choose it, even if you had to dodge a few Middle Earth spears, first.
But you don’t go bet a dollar on a horse because you know the outcome. Baby, you’d bet your lifesavings.
But how can you bet your lifesavings on something you know not the outcome of?
So bored, I want to rip out my hair. But willing to risk my head?
The adrenaline, it might be great.
But chances are, it’ll be just like now. I go off to college, where no one knows me—I could be anyone, set off any impression I want. I think I’m being a pretty cool, decent person—and then it seems like I still get the same reactions. And still, only the losers are attracted.
I just know no matter what lifestyle I chased after, whether it’s a big time magazine columnist in California, or a school teacher in Arkansas—or a plain Jane life in the here and now, or a battle royal of creatures—I’d still end up with the low-life.
I’m beginning to take the hint that I don’t deserve any better, or maybe I’m being a little to judging to begin with. But for once…for once, I’d like to get at least what I think I deserve.
Another question…why aren’t your signs more obvious? I need black and white. Where. Are. You? What is this, what’s the point? And why am I slowly losing control of all of this? What am I? Who am I?
These are just a couple of actors with lots of face paint and special effects. No, Virginia, there is no such thing as Romeo and Juliet, not even with fangs.
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