Today, you may call me Awilda. And tonight, I stole the silence from the air.
Let me tell you, Mondays are long (though not as long as Wednesdays; what, you thought every day lasted 24 hours?). I don't have any free time (unless you count the hour I print homework in the forum, or like today, sold hot chocolate for Haven House) until dinner, which usually happens at 5:30. So basically, six heures le lundi soir is when my day truly begins. This particular Monday, I travelled round the grounds with a friend, where we hung signs, crashed the party in the music building (meaning we "played" on the piano for a few minutes), and sung Britney Spears at the top of our lungs (with a long pause in between the outdoors and the elevator for a grand finale). We also ran a tres amusante video through our credits. This all happened in about an hour or so. It's fun evenings like these that make me smile: I'm not asking for the world, am I?
I should really be catching up on homework...seeing how I should probably spend all of tomorrow studying for a French exam I just found out about. But that's just not how I roll. Not since middle school. I used to be such a responsible kid.
How times have changed.
I am about to go on a tangent about other people again. I feel it in my fingertips.
People are so cool! Hatah's gonna hate. You can be baby in the corner with your hair hanging over your face talkin' about how much you hate the world all day, but no, you're wrong: there are some pretty cool people in the world. Not everyone "sucks," believe it or not.
Everybody's misunderstood. Everybody's got somethin' good about them. You may not be able to stand someone, but I highly doubt that they haven't done something kind in their life. Or impressive.
Take the Green House (the coffee shop near campus: Baridon Street, ya'll). A group of students are running this fantastically remodeled house, they've made it into a non-profit college community coffeehouse; they live upstairs. It kicks ass, guys. I mean, don't get me wrong, I was shocked as hell when the cashier handed my friend an empty cup when she ordered a black coffee (self-serve on that one, friends)--but it's still great, and a wonderful atmosphere. Some college kids got together and are living in and running (some volunteer-working-it) a business that promotes community while going to school.
I sold rocks once. I'd paint them and charge my uncles ridiculous prices.
This was before I had art lessons, too, by the way.
Or hell! The first Vortex reading was held at this snazzy house called la Lucha space, which is a "community space that hosts and encourages the sustainable exchange, production and consumption of local food, art, music, and information in general." Basically, this couple from some fancy city opens the doors to their home where there's no prices 'cause there's no menu. They cook whatever they're up for and host all kinds of cool events like shows and readings. Donations are asked for, since you're basically eatin' their groceries, but they're so chill...and again, the place looks fantastic.
People yap all the time about promoting community, but very few actually seem to do this. I mean, people opening their homes for a continuous (casual, not frat) party that never ends (though does occasionally take a break)...how fresh.
I want to learn to cook, to really cook--probably like some of the classy dishes la Lucha cooks up...maybe when I'm not saving up for Europe (potentially). Maybe I'll do this once a week next year.
But back to the cool people of the world. They have something I don't have. Not only just passion, but:
Dedication.
Like Schiller. This guy was found dead by his prison guards in the nineteenth century, and they found seven straight pins on him, all with the Lord's Prayer carved onto the tiny heads, too tiny to be seen by the naked human eye. 25 years and 1,863 carving strokes later, he went blind. Brosef was dedicated.
Talk about patience.
<3<3<3
I'd like to share the story of my life, sparing no details.
I saw that on a bucket list once.
I think I'll do it one day soon, on a webcam. Think it'd be fun. If only I could remember more.
Which reminds me...man, everybody's got a story to tell, you know? They should get handed the mike and everybody should listen, just once.
I was watchin' that "documentary," where people in London were stopped to ask, I suppose: if you could wake up anywhere (tomorrow), where would it be? I mean, this could be a place like your own bed or Tahiti. It could be a time, like during some civil movement or the roarin' twenties. It could be as a different person: a richer one, a smarter one. You could choose to wake up happy. You could choose the same thing as it is now, you're fine where you are.
I'd like to take people by surprise like that, you know. I'd like to stop college kids as they pass by the Student Center and ask them a question that they have to think about.
Just like I love this. I love giving people the gift of a smile.
I want to make someone going through their daily routine, pause.
People tell me..."Karen, you're too hard on yourself," in some form. I've been told more than once. And maybe I am. But I know I wasn't born to lollygag around. I was born to do something. I'd rather not be another soldier in the march, a robot in the production line. No, I don't need to be famous, don't need to have my name in a history book like I used to say...but at the end of the day, I'd like to be happy with a few little projects I've done.
I mean, there are basically two kinds of human beings. I heard once, rather read, "We'll be remembered more for what we destroy than what we create." And also, the priest in church yesterday said something along the lines of how we'll be thinking about all the things we didn't do, more than the things we did.
And tomorrow I'm'll be wishin' real, real hard I had done homework instead of stumbled and babbled for hours.
I go on and off of bucket list obsessions. I've never really finished a whole one myself. But suddenly, I'll be in the mood and start writing one...one that's very similar to what seems to be on a lot of lists, like skydiving/snorkeling/swim with dolphins/publish a book/learn to really cook/learn a language. I think I've learned that you can't really have a general list that could be anyone's bucket list. And I'm sure with time I could come up with some equally as long as others with unique ideas in place...and I think that I could make a "are you really living" chart with points given for assorted tasks. But I mean, as killer as it sounds to swim with a dolphin...I also think that I can die happy without doing that. There's a box for keep, trash, and sell/donate when you clean out your house. I think you can do a similar thing with bucket lists. Divide them in a hierarchical system. Things I NEED to do. Things that would be cool if I get the chance to do.
Also, goals deal with different lengths. Long term and short term goals.
Right now, I feel like it's time to focus on short term goals.
And this week, I want to be the cause of a genuine smile.
Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo. Wish I could play some stringz.
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