The roar that we hear when we place a seashell next to our ear is not the ocean, but rather the sound of blood surging through the veins in the ear.

But sometimes it's better to believe in magic.

<3<3<3

A wonderful beginning to break. Before I could even get out of Benton, I managed to rear-end the lady in front of me. I was already pressing my brakes, the traffic was bad...wasn't speedin', wasn't tailin', wasn't talking to my grandma. Just suddenly, they were stopped, and I slammed my brakes the rest of the way down, but it wasn't quite good enough.

I could have started this off with, "I got in a fuckin' wreck today." But I'm going to continue in this manner, because it's the week of Thanksgiving, and sometimes we're just not thankful enough. It's a shame we limit ourselves this thankfulness to one day of the year.

I had precious cargo in my car. I remember thinking this before the accident. I remember feeling like my 89 year old grandmother's "guardian," I was chauffeuring the "president," so it felt. It was a big responsibility. I've done it before. And what the hell did I do but get into a wreck with her in the car? I've never been involved in a multi-car accident (yes, yes I did spin out on some country road the winter I got my car).

Therefore, I am thankful that she wasn't hurt, as well as the other driver and myself.

I'm thankful it wasn't worse than what it was. Sure, I bet it's gonna cost me another $500 like the first time (Civic's are an expensive body-fix), but I drove away from the wreck. (As a matter of fact, I nearly got in another one when the policeman had us get off on the next exit. Blind spots and embarrassment.)

I'm thankful that if I had to hit anyone in Benton, it was the lady I hit. She was so sweet. She even said she was going to tell them it wasn't my fault, that it wasn't really anybody's fault. She asked multiple times if that was my grandma/is she okay/are you okay? She bid me a good, safe holiday afterward.

I'm thankful I had a canceled class and meeting today. And also that I don't have Tuesday/Thursday classes so I could go home today.

I'm thankful I didn't get murdered when I stopped to use the bathroom on the way home.

I'm thankful both of my brothers will be here for Thanksgiving.

I'm thankful I have awesome friends who are good at touching up my roots so I don't have to pay eighty bucks.

I'm thankful my nephew is adorable...even when he makes fart sounds with his mouth to the Tom Cat on the iPhone.

I'm thankful for this blog, so I can put whatever terrible thought that crosses my mind onto the world wide web. Talk about cyber landfills.

I'm thankful that I still managed a close 90 on my french test even though I barely studied. PS: It's hard to learn a language.

I mean, these are just a few occurrences of the past 24 hours.

I could mention the kids who've held the door open for me. The fact that I didn't sleep in; no, I even had breakfast. That I found a parking spot by my last class. That I didn't get a speeding ticket. That I'm having a conversation with my brother that I never talk to, via facebook or not.

You can find something in everything if you just look at it with the right view: you just have to make yourself sometimes. The glass is always full. It's half air, right? No black hole of nothingness.

As much as I want to cry and sob and blah blah blah sometimes...sometimes you just need to slap yourself in the face. Life really is what you make of it. It is bad if you think so. It is good if you think so. Whatever we believe is true. Maybe since I believe in a heaven, that's where I'll go when I die, and when you believe in no god, you'll just die. We both get what we want. If you truly believe you can be a writer, whatever it is...you can make that happen. But you're going to see what you want to see. If you want to live life through rose colored glasses, you'd better put them on.

My grandma just said Kris Allen sounded like a woman. Her hearing is bad, and my mom's showing off "cool" iPhone apps. But he's right, man.

We don't say I love you enough.